The Team: Sean Curry (Chicken) Currier is as good a keeper as there is in Senior club football at the minute. Great shot stopper and brilliant accuracy with his kick outs. Sean has been rewarded by call up to Dublin senior squad in recent years. He has been known to feature in a romantic “selfie” with his beloved. Enda Dolan (Fozzy) The elder of the Dolan brothers and still playing great football. Many are surprised at his longevity but maybe that’s with the arrival of his son in recent years and thus enthuastic to get out of the house. Enda is also a visual learner and struggles with instructions in training.


Karl Connolly (Larry or The Dagger) A silent assassin and if rumours are to be believed not a man to be trifled with on the streets. Karl’s a no nonsense type of player, hard in the tackle and very comfortable with ball or knife in hand. He has however vowed to put his dagger away with his recent marriage. A back who is always good for a score. Alan Hubbard (Frank Ribery) Alan is widely regarded as one of the best half backs in the county. As well as his promising football career has no taken to golf full time and recently lowered his handicap to low teens and has told everyone to back him for 2017 Open. You’ll hear Alan before you ever see him. James Burke (Most Beautiful) Senior captain for 2015. Another silent assassin in the Karl Connolly mould, particularly on the social scene. He loves sipping a feminine drink in Dublin’s hotspots and has also patented the “no look” hand pass in gaelic football. The dummy itself is so good, his team mates even buy it. One of the only men we know that leaves his top on during a skin fold test.

The man from Mayo brings more than his good looks to the senior panel. A fit and competitive wing back, his cultured left foot is probably more suited to sky sports than pairc ciceam. James McCarthy (Maccer) Dublin hero and club hero. Terrific athlete, with deceptive pace. Immense midfielder and already a lovely haul of medals for such a young man. All Ireland medals at U-21 and senior, and Sigerson with DCU and now a Leinster club medal to add to his Dublin medal. James is best mates with mallet head and was lucky to escape a sanction recently for indecent exposure in Croke Park during the all-ireland quarter final. The GAA said they were looking into the matter but that it was “only a small issue”. Philip McMahon (McBaton) A Celtic cross in his back pocket is proof enough that Philly is a top class defender. Strong, great hands and distribution. Top class footballer that could play anywhere on the pitch, but his defensive ability is pure genius! The proprietor of BK strength and conditioning, he’ll get you a 6 pack if you work with him (shameless plug), or if you work against him, it’s not a good idea… Just ask Michael Shields! Elliott


Reilly (Trigger) Probably the most intelligent member of the panel and an avid Elvis impersonator.

Trigger has a great engine and the ability to fulfil a number of different roles for the team. An old school operator who scoffs at sport science methods in preference for coco pops and wedges. Has recently started a petition for a new flat screen TV in the autobahn bar, so please sign up. Elliott is still trying to contact Monster over sponsorship thus far has received no reply. If looking for Elliott on social media see “#hunzo” Jason Whelan (Whelo) AlsoJay has become one of the main men of the Ballymun attack. His cultured left foot and pace injects fear into opposition defences. Likes to room with Ted on away trips. His tackling has improved immensely since introduction of black card as he simply doesn’t tackle anymore. Dean Rock (Rocky) Dean, no longer will be known as the son of Barney as he as claimed his own legendary status on his own right. His free taking is top class, and his contribution from play is top drawer too. A class forward and versatile to go along with that. When not taking romantic strolls with maccer. Can be found on the back of the hearld most days for a “Regaine” ad. Davey Byrne (Churnzie) A ferocious competitor who leads from the front. Top drawer footballing brain and ability to go along with his attitude. Dublin’s loss will be Ballymun’s gain this year. Since Davey’s young lad arrived he has mellowed hugely and is now rumoured to be taking up pilates and meditation along with writing poetry.


A great man to organise a sing song without ever singing himself. Davey can

been seen walking around DCU with his laptop bag and a good book to read. Kevin Leahy (King Kev) Kev was an ever present in the half forward line during last season successes. Has represented Dublin from U16 through to senior level. Approaching veteran status at this stage Kev is now working in Croke Park directly to deal with all of Declan Small’s ticket inquires. Ted Furman (FurCoat) On his day, 1 of the best forwards in Dublin. His fitness improvements has meant he now is fulfilling his under-age promise Top class finisher, great hands and a bullet shot means he is always likely to raise the green flag. Surely a Dub player?? ….Could have been the next Michael Flately if he didn’t take up football and has recently taken up sunbeds…………..god only knows why?! As mentioned Jay Whealen’s favourite roommate and a stickler for punctuality at training. Jason Welby (Nidge) A member of the Ashbourne mafia. Jay has developed into a solid senior corner back despite the presence of his Dad. Has bulked up considerably recently rumours are lifting kegs has aided this.

If his football career fails a profesional career in darts beckons. Ronan Noonan (Noono) Ronan is a this tall and athletic midfielder is definitely one for the future. A Dublin Minor panellist in 2011 who Loves sunbeds and holding hands with girls. His addiction to the sun led to him missing a session earlier this year due to sun stroke. A character who has been known to frequent the Sunny Bank. Has never experienced a injury to date and has frrequent “short malfunctions in the gym. Can be found hitching to training outside Ballymunlibrary. Andy O’Brien ( TBC ) Andy is another of the Noono and Jay Welby generation and his accuracy is top class. Andy is one of the most accurate forwards in Dublin football, and his age belies how he performs. Top class, composure, good hands, speed and great feet. Growing into senior football over the last year and another quiet man on the panel.

A Paul Scholes type character who keeps his bib squeaky clean.A affilfiate member of the Ashbourne Mafia. Fiach Andrews (Fiacho) Coming from a long line of Ballymun blood, Fiach certainly plays with his heart on his sleeve. An excellent forward, who, like Andy above is one of the most accurate in Dublin. Again, his youth means Fiach will be a senior for at least a decade. Top class engine and a ready-made half forward. The recent emergence of some grey locks may work in his favour as opposing defenders could underestimate him and ladies like maturity. A fully fledged member of the Ashbour Mafia. Figo spends most of evenings analysing videos with his Dad. Rumour has it he has never watched any sport live. Derek Byrne (Byrner) Derek has been on the senior football scene since the days of black and white TV and he is still delivering the goods. An example to all in terms of preparation and his approach to the game. Having been promoted recently his new job requires more time on the road which Derek is said to be delighted about as “it gives me more time to plug the slendertone into the cigarette lighter kiddo”. Oldest member of the Ballymun team and also the man with the most clubs.


Sean George (Georgey) Sean’s return to the club was a huge boost to the ranks. A top class defender with an All Ireland under 21 medal in his back pocket. Superb hands, great athleticism and terrific strength are the hallmarks of this defender. Known for his domestic tidiness and his desire to become a rapper, Sean is a unique character and his idol is rumoured to be Pinocchio. Hates morning sessions and has a taste for the life stateside. Rumoured to have been given trial and the New England Patriots. Liam O’Donovan (Liamo) A change of workplace has resulted in a breaking in the relationship for lifts for Noono. Has had a ringing in his ears for the last 3 months.

If you are looking to buy protein in bulk Liamo is your man. Cian Burke (Ciano) James’ younger brother. Superb underage pedigree with Mayo and a great man to have on board. If football doesn’t work out for Cian he has the undoubted ability to be a huge karaoke singer with his unparalled ability to read song lyrics off an iPhone. Kieran Kieran a recent addition to the panel from Lovely Leitrim. First Leitrim man to ever have lived in Dublin. Trained with the panel over last few years and despite this decided to join. Has the biggest legs in the club seen since Fuse. David Givney (Givers) One of the most promising things to come out of Cavan since the road to Dublin. Givers had an unfortunate injury which has put him out long term. In recovery at present no doubt will come back to be a major part of 2015 season. Has been told to bulk up as a little under weight.

The management team: Anto Mc Caul Second coming as Senior manager a man with a lot of passion. Louise has had to replace her physio table with every game. Declan Sheehan Another Clubman who brings a lot of passion. Somethings are timeless and Sheeners tactic board is one of them things. Ger Lyons Only a teacher could be as organised as Ger. As they have the time to be that orgainsed. A trainer with a bright future ahead of him. Val (Joseph) A man who goes by a number of names. Owns no phone but three I Pads. Go figure. Barry Horgan S and C coach with huge promise. Anto Welby The Don of the Ashbourne Mafia and can been seen robbing footballs at any match. Tommy Hennessy Can be seen at any match with a permanent marker. Has even been known to miss the odd United match for his beloved “bogball.”